Therapy
Relapse Prevention
Family/Relationships
Psychological Evaluation
Implementing Consequences and Punishments
- Natural Consequences –happen without adult interference. Child refuses to wear shoes, feet get cold. Child does not clean up toys, they get lost. No additional blaming or punishing. “I know you lost your favorite toy and you are sad. What do you think we could do to make sure your toys don’t get lost.” These are not to be used when the child engages in dangerous activities or when the rights of others are involved or when the child does not care about natural consequences (i.e. getting cavities if teeth are not brushed)
- Logical Consequences – planned by parent and child to help child learn. Related always to the behavior. If the child breaks the toy when asked to stop, the toy is thrown away. If the child does not share with a friend, the playdate is over. If the schoolwork is not finished at school, it has to be finished at home. If the toys are not cleaned up, no other toys can be played with. Remember to match the consequence to the behavior.
- Practice, Practice, Practice – Behavior that is not appropriate gets practiced until it becomes appropriate. Child slams the door, gets to practice closing it quietly.
- Removal of Privileges – if you do not clean up, you can’t play with friends
- Time Out – if you hit your brother, you will go to time-out. For toddlers, a play pen or stroller (always in view of the parent) can be used. For younger children, a spot in the home without any toys or entertainment but near the parent is selected. For older children, time-out can be done in a separate room, but again without entertainment. The major idea of time-out is removal of parental attention and fun. Parent is not to speak to the child until the end of time-out. Time-out is announced calmly and the length should be very short -- 30 sec to 1 min. There is no need to scream at the child or show anger as punishment. Removal of attention and fun is the punishment in itself. If anger is displayed at the child, later tell the child you were angry with her behavior, but you love her. If child continues the misbehavior after leaving time-out, the child is returned. After several returns, reevaluate your strategy (i.e. why can’t the child stop, is behavior too difficult to stop, should I use another strategy?)
- Grounding – for older children. Excessive length is not helpful and does not teach (i.e. grounding for an afternoon is appropriate, grounding for a month is not). Longer length results in the child forgetting what she is grounded for and takes away opportunity to correct behavior and learn appropriate behavior.
- Parent or object time-out If you feel so angry and frustrated that you can’t discipline effectively, take a parent time-out. Tell your child you are very angry and you need a time-out to calm down. This teaches the child to handle anger appropriately by calming down. Toys or objects can have a time-out if they are used inappropriately or there is inappropriate behavior.
