These are my thoughts and reactions as I play the piano. I think you can recognize in them the self-talk and self-reflection we all experience as we perform and put ourselves out in the world each day.
Playing the piano can become a time of fantasy and drama for me – as I imagine who is listening and what they are thinking. It’s easy to get carried away. Indeed, sometimes I have to remind myself to “just play the piece, Tina.” It doesn’t have to be all about your performance – it can also just be about the music.
____________________________________________________________
Actually, you don’t even get to fantasize or dramatize unless you play the notes right. Focusing our attention on getting the notes right is a good way to get out of our heads. For those of us who may spend too much time there. It’s important to get involved in “doing” – not just feeling and thinking. Remember you only get to create a fun fantasy if you get the notes right.
___________________________________________________________
Playing well (or building, dancing or painting well) is a gift to oneself.
___________________________________________________________
When I sit down at the piano I find myself searching for particular pieces or styles of music. When I eventually stop and look at what I’ve chosen to play, it helps me to understand what I’m needing at the time and thus what I’m feeling. [read Looking At Ourselves and Our Feelings]
Stop and look at times to see what you find yourself yearning for or drawn to – the bed, the popcorn, the wine, certain books or movies or people? What does it say about what you’re needing and feeling?
When my world is chaotic, I tend to go for classical pieces. They’re so beautiful, orderly and timeless that I feel reassured of good and order in the universe.
Lately, I’m into Latin jazz. It’s majestic, moving, poignant and fun. It works great when you’re Freaked Out About Aging .
___________________________________________________________
It’s nice, kind of reassuring, that there is one right note. It means I can figure it out. Even nicer, that there are other options that work. Music, like life, allows for more than one good possibility.
_______________________________________________________________
There are times when I make mistakes as I play and get into blaming myself. “I’m careless; I’m lazy.” (Hello Survival Child). Then I realize that this part of the piece is really difficult.